Chippendales
by Voyna
Summary: [AU] Sometimes, a girl needs a lap-dance to put life into perspective. SasuHina.


**[A/N] I wrote this in 2 days. And nothing about this is my fault. Blame Yudoku Kabe-no-Hana and Azeyma for this. Actually, you can blame lookingforEmile indirectly as well. When I have crazy, cracked ideas, it is usually when I am thinking of her.**

**My experience with male-strippers. My friends tried to force me to go to a male strip-club when I turned eighteen. That's all the experience I've got. **

**Another reason for having written this fic, I just wanted Sasuke and Hinata to get some. So be warned, under eighteen, abstain. **

…

**Chippendales**

_By_

_Voyna_

The Boston offices of _Yamanaka, Nara & Akimichi_ looked like a goddamn nineteenth-century museum. The place was filled with luxurious furniture and the shit on the wall could have been painted by … _Pasternak_ for all Tenten knew. _Pasternak_ was a painter, right?

Dusting her off pants (not that they were dusty, mind you), Tenten wondered whether she looked the slightest bit presentable. She should've come in her ceremonial uniform. According to her, there was nothing classier than the _Marine_'s ceremonial uniform. Got people to turn around and smile wherever she went. And she loved it. She really did love what she did.

As she stepped into the lobby, she was welcomed by the equivalent of a _Brook Brothers_ and _Burberry_ Fall collection catalogue. Damn, everyone looked like they had a stick screwed up their ass. She couldn't imagine Ino, of all people, working in a place like this. But daddy was the _Y_ in _YN&A_ and Ino would eventually take over. 'Cause blondie was a legacy. She was the best at what she did. She wielded words the way Tenten did a _M16_. Actually, Ino was much more dangerous alone than Tenten with a rifle.

Tenten made her way to what seemed to be a counter where a girl that looked like a fucking model welcomed her. Way of making anyone feel inadequate. The place smelled of money. Even the secretaries and receptionists looked like they had graduated with honors from _HarvardU_ … which they most probably did. Gave Tenten a case of the envies. But it didn't last.

"Ms. Yamanaka will be on the third floor. You get out of the elevator, turn to your left, fourth door to your right."

Urgh. The receptionist's teeth shone like diamonds. Plastic. But then again, if there was one thing that fitted with Ino's image, it was plastic. Hence her working in _Professional-Barbie Land_.

Tenten kept her musings to herself though and made her way to the elevator, shuffling around in her _Walmart_-bought flats. Entering the elevator she was welcomed by a zoo. Ever noticed how lawyers all looked like penguins? Just that they would most probably not make great fathers.

Funny shit, most of the assholes in the elevator were dicks. You'd think there would be more women in law, since it was all about the _yadda yadda yadda_. Think again. But if there was one chick that could make a chauvinist society crumble, it would be Ino.

As Tenten stepped out on the third floor, she felt like she had entered an ice palace. The hallway was completely white and made of marble. Funny how money looked kinda gross up close. It didn't smell good. Maybe because she knew who _YN&A_ were. They were all over the newspapers whenever a Mafioso was to be defended. Good ol' Ino had always liked to play with fire and Tenten better not talk. She had joined the _US Marines_ as soon as she had turned eighteen.

_Ino Yamanaka, Esq._ written on a nice gold plate. Tenten could bet it was true gold too. Stepping into the office, she was welcomed by yet another secretary, this time Ino's personal one. Good thing with the nice lady was that she was middle-aged, knew her shit and recognized Tenten as being Ino's friend. Didn't make her feel like some aberrance that had made its way through their perfectly sterilized offices.

"Ms. Yamanaka should be available in … uhm … a short while. If you would be so good as to take a seat, I will bring you an _espresso_ right away."

The woman was a pearl, a real treasure. She even remembered how Tenten liked her coffee … well, _espresso_. And they only saw each other only once in a while, when Tenten wasn't deployed somewhere. It didn't happen all that often.

However the secretary's hesitance at when Ino would be done with … whoever it was that was boring her to death on the other side of a heavy ebony door, made Tenten scowl a tidbit. She was protective of her friends, maybe because she only had a handful. And the idea Ino was in some kind of trouble, even if job-related, just didn't make her feel comfortable. But _Ms. Yamanaka, Esq. _had sounded just fine on the phone. Same obnoxious, shallow, self-centered ol' Ino.

Fifteen minutes later, as Tenten was nursing her _espresso_ and feeling like she had parked her ass on a cloud, a tall, definitely good-looking man in a suit came out from behind the ebony door leading to Ino's workspace. Black hair, dark eyes … and that chiseled mouth, with the upper lip slightly pulpier than the lower. Give Tenten a break, a girl could take a teeny tiny glimpse. He was hot, ok?!

And … creepy. Tilting his head to the side, he shot her a sugary-sweet smile … the type you expect from a dimwit five-year old … not from a full-grown dude dressed in an _Armani_ suit. The suit … the guy should have taken a look at his zipper. The thing was open … and his white shirt was peeking from it. Now Tenten knew why it took Ino _a short while_ to receive.

Rolling her eyes, she laid her _espresso_ on the low glass table in front of her and stood up, passing by the guy as if he were nothing but air. Hey, chicks before dicks. Tenten would never shoot Ino's property an inviting glance. But the guy was damn hot, that was for sure.

Leaning onto the doorframe, Tenten had to smile at Ino buttoning her shirt up. Good thing she didn't have a mirror in her office, because Ino would have gone full-blown nuclear had she seen her hair.

"Hey there, _Miss Piggy_. I think you and I need to have a talk about work ethic."

Turning around immediately, Ino's lips stretched into a huge _Cameron Diaz_ smile. Yep, Ino was a _Barbie_-doll with an attitude. And everyone loved her because of it. Before Tenten had the time to close the door, Ino let a shriek of joy escape her. Ok, this felt way too much like a _Legally Blonde_ moment. _Reese Witherspoon_ had no shit on Ino Yamanaka. There was a reason everyone called her _Miss Piggy_. Forgetting the fact the shreds of her panties were lying on her desk, Ino sauntered her way around it and latched onto Tenten.

"I missed you so fucking much!"

"Hey, language."

Stepping away while holding onto Tenten's shoulders with her perfectly manicured hands, Ino examined her from head to toe … and her eyes had to stop at her feet, of course. If there was one thing Ino could not bear, it was _Walmart_ and she could smell it a mile away.

"Where the fuck did you get those horrors?!"

It amazed Tenten that with such a potty mouth Ino had yet to get in trouble at a hearing. Tenten's hand shot out and she did her best to flatten Ino's unruly mop of blond hair. She really sported the _happily-fucked_ look at the moment. And that is when Tenten noticed it … It had to do with Ino's nose … It looked weird … Tenten was not much of a _Facebooker_ hence why she knew nothing about the latest news. Hell, she had been late on her best friend getting engaged. That last thought was not welcome.

"What the hell did you do to your nose?!"

Ino giggled.

"You like it? You better! It was super expensive."

A nose-job. Ino Yamanaka was–

"Y'know, Ino, you are an inflatable sex doll. Honestly. And now, you better tell me what you were doing getting down and dirty with a client. Isn't there a damn law against shit like that?!"

Grabbing onto her arm, Ino dragged Tenten towards an armchair in front of her mahogany desk. As Tenten parked her butt, Ino jumped onto the desk, crossed her legs, 'cause flashing one of her best friends was disrespectful, and started rolling a perfectly bleached strand of hair around her finger.

"_Uno_, he is not a _case_, he is the crown prosecutor. His name's Sai. We were just going over some … evidence."

"Evidence of what?"

Tenten had to grin at that point. And to get even more worried. She hoped Ino wasn't trying to haze the fucking crown prosecutor! Were they even allowed to meet up?! Well, most probably. Ino's secretary would have freaked out otherwise. Right?!

"_Secundo_, this big, Ten, _thiiis_ big."

Okay, wait. Was that even humanly possible?! Tenten raised an eyebrow at her. Ino slowly nodded her head in emphasis. Well, Ino was one unlucky girl. Meeting up with a guy that was bigger than her luxury _dildo_ and him being the crown prosecutor. And you could see that _Miss Piggy_ was very touched by the situation. Complete despair.

"I have to say he looks like a creep. I bet he is damn good at the job he does. And the nose in all this?"

"I just won a huge case and wanted to celebrate by getting rid of the elephant trunk I had in the middle of my face. It looked like a fucking tumor. Female, how are you?! Damn you look good! I guess that no sex and sea-sickness are the new diet to follow. By the way, you didn't tell _Hina_ you were coming, right?!"

_Hina_. Hinata. Tenten's best friend forever. Whom she hadn't seen in over two years. _Skype_ didn't count really. And there had been nothing more excruciating than not telling Hinata she was coming the last time they had talked. Her parents being dead, Tenten didn't really have anyone to call besides Hinata. She was like a sister to her. Even if Hinata's father would have liked for Tenten's ship to be bombed and her wiped from the surface of the earth. The old geezer could go to hell. And everyone would agree.

"Nah. I didn't. And I am not sure it was a good idea. What do you have in mind, Ino?"

At once, Ino transformed from dimwit into the _Esq._ part of her title. She stopped swinging her legs and her hand left her hair. Leaning in, her deep blue eyes flashed. Tenten wasn't the only one that fucking cared for Hina, they had to set that clear. And honestly, Ino didn't need any of Tenten's moralizing.

"It's been four years, Ten. Four godforsaken years."

Yes, Tenten knew. It wasn't like she disagreed. It is just that … Hinata and _him_ had been special. And Tenten could see why Hinata was still mourning _him_. It had been all wrong. All fucking wrong. She sighed passing a weary hand over her eyes.

"We gave her some slack for four years. But she is twenty-six and Sakura agrees, she has to start going out again. She is over Shino. And if she isn't, it's high time she does get over him."

"Oy, Ino, you don't get over shit like that. He died, Ino. They were supposed to get married. Fuck, he asked her to marry him three fucking years before they graduated. And he died from leukemia in the meantime. You think she will ever get over that?! The only reason she even went to med-school was because of him."

Ino sighed. Y'know, Shino had been right about their bunch. They weren't doing Hinata any service, they never had.

"You remember what he told us seven years ago?"

Aww, fuck. No, Tenten did not remember. She had no fucking idea actually. She tried to think about Shino Aburame the least she could. The only thing she did remember of him was how she had threatened to cut off his balls if he ever broke Hinata's heart … and then the summer after he had graduated.

He had continued with his studies while getting his treatments. As if he'd known he wouldn't make it. He had wanted to graduate at least. Shino's dream had been to do research. Get a _PhD_ and do some type of bug research. He was top of his class and his degree in biology at _Harvard_ would have opened doors for him. But he had died, four months after having graduated. With Hinata lying in the hospital bed with him and holding onto his body for dear life. Fuck, Tenten did not want to think about it.

"He said we weren't doing her a service by babying her like that all the time. And he was fucking right, Ten. The only thing we ever did was baby Hina. You babied her, Sakura babied her, I babied her. And you know why? Because we didn't believe in her. We didn't believe she would make it _on her own_. He did though. He trusted her with shit. He would always say that she could do it _alone_. And … he wanted her to move on."

"She has moved on."

"Get your head out of your ass, Tenten. She didn't move one fucking inch. Her getting into that damn _M.D./PhD_ was everything but moving on. She got into it because of Shino. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. And the only thing she's been doing ever since was study and research. The last time I've seen her with a dude, it was Kiba and they were going to the graveyard. Enough is fucking enough. I am not going to look at Hinata flushing her life down the drain, excuse-me, pardon!"

Leaning back, Tenten just shot Ino her sternest glare. She hated it when _Miss Piggy_ of all people was right. And when she rubbed Tenten's nose into it. But well, she hadn't gotten a law degree from _Harvard_ based on looks, surely. Ino was brilliant … usually.

"What did you have in mind, _Miss Piggy_?"

Thirty seconds later, Ino's secretary jumped on her chair hearing a roar coming from the boss's office. Or had it been someone in great suffering screaming the word _no_?

**x.x.x.**

"Uhm. S-Sakura? You don't think this is a little b-bit too revealing?"

Hinata tried to push the front of her dress up. She did not like flashing too much skin. Actually, the only thing that dress _wasn't_ making her flash were her nipples. Mocking green eyes met hers in the mirror. Sakura was like that, she had never known what clothes to bring Hinata. Nah. She had _always_ known what clothes to bring. Grabbing onto her chin, Sakura turned Hinata's head to the side, so she could curl her hair better.

"I do hope it's revealing. When someone has boobs like yours, it should be broadcasted on national television."

That did not make Hinata feel any better about her … generous cleavage. Not at all. Her skin took a rosy hue. Cute. Hinata had always been the cute one of the gang. Sakura loved it when she blushed, or when she fiddled with her fingers. Just made her think of an adorable rodent. Something like a squirrel. Or a chipmunk.

Hinata was such a chipmunk … well, minus the big cheeks. Then again, when they had just started their undergrad, there had been more of her and Hinata had really looked like a chipmunk. They should've nicknamed her _Alvin_. Giggling at the idea, Sakura just shoved a pin into her thick black locks. Here, there, everywhere.

It had been a while Hinata had let any of them play doll with her. Brought back memories. Happy memories. From before Shino died. Sakura's smile slipped. She remembered how the two of them had met.

It had been a good seven years ago. They were nothing but giddy frosh, all excited at having gotten into _Harvard_. Ino and Sakura had been friends forever. Well, they had had something like a love-hate relationship going on. And Hinata had always been somewhat alone in her corner, texting her best friend who had been deployed somewhere, God knew where. Hinata had been Sakura's lab partner for _Organic Chemistry I_. And having to work on ridiculously long lab reports had had a way of bringing them together. Plus, as soon as Ino, who had been getting a business degree, had met Hinata, she had fallen in love with her. Sakura and Ino had met Tenten later on and it had just clicked.

So seven years ago, March or April, Sakura didn't remember. Fact was, there had been bugs every-_fucking_-where. All types of nuisances had started crawling out and attacking poor students on campus. Yes, butterflies were a fucking pain as well. As long as they kept a healthy distance from Sakura, those ones were allowed to keep on living.

And so, somewhere along their path, from out of nowhere an enormous, disgusting, horrifying green caterpillar had appeared on Hinata's shoulder. Ino had screamed the whole campus down and Sakura had run to the other side of the lawn. Hinata? Hinata had just frozen and not moved an inch.

That is when he had appeared. A very tall guy, wearing sunglasses and a bandana. He had looked like a gangster, kind of. Not Hinata's type at all. At least, according to Ino and Sakura. But here he was, getting the caterpillar off of her shoulder and even making her pet it. That had been the freakiest scene Sakura had ever witnessed. Hinata petting that monstrosity. And instead of running away from a hot guy that looked deliciously dangerous, Hinata had just continued walking on with him, blushing and fiddling her fingers.

Six months later they had been engaged. Because they had been perfect for each other, as simple as that. Turned out the bad boy was a book worm that didn't speak much. And loved everything that had to do with insects. Sakura shivered at the very thought of it. Just that, unlike Hinata, he hadn't been shy one bit. Actually, he had taught them a few tricks around her. Instead of babying her, they had all started encouraging Hinata.

Sakura remembered those days fondly. Ino, Shikamaru Nara and Chōji Akimichi, a.k.a Ino's childhood friends. Sakura, Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha, a.k.a Sakura's best buds from elementary school. And Hinata, Shino Aburame and Kiba Inuzuka, a.k.a boyfriend and company. With Tenten being their best girlfriend. They had had a nice gang.

But then, Shino had gotten sick. And after they graduated, they all went their own way. Ino worked with Shikamaru and Chōji, so she saw them daily. But it wasn't the same anymore. Sakura didn't see much of Sasuke, but Naruto still stuck to her butt, the idiot. And Hinata, well, they didn't know. They had almost hoped Kiba and her would start dating. But they hadn't. Ino maintained Hina still saw him often. One thing was for sure, the Ino-Saku-Hina-Ten thing still held. That had been too precious. The laughter, the giddiness, the tears. It had been way too precious for them to just walk away from one another.

Stepping aside, Sakura whistled in appreciation.

"Hyūga, you look hot."

Hinata blushed. Mostly from embarrassment. And maybe from pleasure, but just a little bit.

"Stand up, so I can look at my masterpiece."

"It is r-really too revealing for m-me, Sakura."

"Shut up before I punch you."

A stern glance from Sakura was all it took for Hinata to recoil. She was such a pushover, honestly. And it had taken all of Sakura's self-control not to baby her. She was just too damn cute. And innocent, at age twenty-six. And defenseless. But Hinata could do it. The problem hadn't lied with Hinata; it had lied with them being unable to admit that she was a grown woman. And that she could take care of shit alone. Sakura still struggled, actually.

"Go put the shoes on."

Shooting the stilettoes that were waiting for her a glance, Hinata sighed. She had known this wasn't a good idea. She had no idea what was so special about that club they wanted to go to. But she had better things to do than to go clubbing. Actually, she had to complete that paper her supervisor wanted to get published. Who would have thought she would end up obsessed with haematology? Not her. She had never thought she would get into a _M.D./PhD_ nor even considered specializing in haematology. Funny how … certain things made you take unexpected decisions in life.

Hinata tensed for a split of an instant, her hands forming fists. Ino and Sakura were right; she had to get out of her apartment. She was being a spoiled princess, always expecting people to come to her and make things happen for her. All of them had their own problems. For one, Ino and her ambiguous relationship with a crown prosecutor. Or Sakura desperately trying to get good evaluations at the hospital. And yet, the last four years had been all about Hinata. She had been so selfish. And felt really bad about it. So the only thing she could do was get her feet into those _hazards on heels_ and go to that dumb club with her girlfriends.

As she fastened the little straps on the shoes, a honking sound roused her from her thoughts. Grabbing onto her phone, Sakura furiously dialed a number.

"Oy, pig, no need to wake-up the whole neighbourhood!"

"_Get your ass down, billboard-brow. Oh, and tell Hina I have a surprise for her._"

Rolling her eyes, Sakura shot Hinata a half-mocking, half-exasperated glance.

"Let's go, before the bitch comes for us."

"A surprise", Hinata squealed in fright.

Ino's surprises were often … very surprising … But rarely were they agreeable. As they walked down the stairs, Hinata did her best to keep her dress from ending around her hips. There was something to be said about spandex. And Hinata's butt wasn't exactly all that skinny either.

As they waited for the girls to come out, Tenten shot Ino an incendiary glare.

"You are a fucking bitch, you know that, Yamanaka?"

Ino grinned, looking perfectly gorgeous. As always.

"Why are you coming then, Ten? Looking like a top model, too!"

Tenten pulled on the hem of her Chinese dress, mortified she had let Ino dress her up. And had liked it too. Urgh. Kill her now.

"Because of damage control. Hinata will faint and get a concussion. Someone _responsible_ will have to take her to the hospital."

"You're such a drama-queen, Ten. This is called shock-therapy. If she can get over this, she can get over anything."

Tenten rolled her eyes. This was ridiculous. Hinata would never be able to get over something like that! Ever. She would end up traumatized. In a mental hospital. Swinging back and forth. Okay. Yeah, maybe. A little. A lot. Tenten was a huge drama-queen, happy? She could manage firearms, terrorists and emergency situations in the middle of the sea. She could not manage a distressed, weeping Hinata. It just roused her maternal instincts from the dead, what did you want her to tell you?!

As they finally got out, they were welcomed by a real _Barbie_-car. Well, it wasn't pink, but it sure as hell was a _Corvette_. Ino loved to flash her cash. And wasn't ashamed of it one bit. She was rich, she knew it. She wanted the rest of the world to know it too, was all. Attention-whore, much?

Hinata froze. Big tears formed at the corner of her eyes. Before they could slide down her cheeks, Sakura grabbed her onto her chin and lifted her head up.

"No crying. You're gonna smudge your make-up."

Pulling the window down, Ino leaned over Tenten and screamed for the whole street to hear:

"Surprise, Hina, baby!"

Tenten let laughter wash over her.

"I missed you, Hinata!"

Staring up at the dark sky, Hinata permitted herself to giggle ever so slightly.

"We missed you more, Ten", Sakura chipped in cheerfully.

And Hinata didn't care whether she was flashing her cleavage and whether her dress was too short and her heels too high. She was just so happy to be with her best friends. Together. As they had been for the last eight years. This felt like home. It really did.

As she sat at the back, Tenten and herself did the best they could do hug, while Ino shot into the night. One thing worth mentioning about Ino, she was a dangerous driver. Didn't respect speed limits. Acted as if she were color-blind. Liked to scare little old ladies trying to cross the street. And was a honking-addict. She honked all the time. For any God-given reason. And sometimes, for no reason at all.

So, when they did pull up in front of what seemed to be a pretty … colorful club, Hinata had to cross herself and send a thank you to _Whoever_ had made them avoid an accident. That club was strange. _Bugs Bunny_. Weird name for a high-end club, honestly. And why were there only girls lining up to get in?! Not that Hinata minded being in an all-girls club. Heck, for all she cared it could be a gay club for lesbians. She would just fake that Tenten was her partner and enjoy herself without any obnoxious guys coming up and disturbing her.

It had been very thoughtful of Ino to take her sensibilities in account. She would have to thank her, really. It was rare that Ino thought about anything besides her own enjoyment. And she enjoyed being surrounded by men. Then again, maybe was she really becoming serious about the crown prosecutor. It would be nice to have Ino finally settle down. Remembering the names of all her boy-toys and not mixing them up when she met them had become very tiresome to Hinata.

Stepping out, Ino threw her keys to a valet.

"You dent my baby and I'll hunt you down all the way to the United Nations. Not even _Putin_ will be able to save your sorry ass, we clear? Your balls will become my most priced trophy."

Tenten clicked her tongue. Sakura sighed. And Hinata blushed ever so slightly. Count on Ino Yamanaka to be crystal clear about certain things.

"Ladies, let's go have some fun, for fuck's sake."

Grabbing onto Sakura's arm, she pulled her towards the bouncer, while Hinata and Tenten were left to talk. But why Tenten was so tense, Hinata did not know. They were getting some damn dirty glares from the girls waiting in line. But, well, Ino hated waiting so she always made reservations beforehand. Ino waiting in line like some _Jane Bloe_?! Ain't gonna happen, thank you very much.

As the bouncer let them pass, she slipped forty bucks into his front pocket and flashed him her most enticing smile. Funny shit, Ino's teeth glowed in the dark. That's how white they were. Before their little bunch stepped in however, she decided she wanted to have Hinata beside her and Sakura, a huge, fake smile plastered across her lips, switched places, pushing Hinata in front.

That is when her instincts kicked in. What … was happening? Tenten was tense. And so was Sakura. Ino was the only one that felt as comfortable as could be expected. The girl was a real bulldozer. She would feel comfortable in a refugee camp. Because she would _make_ it comfortable. They stepped into the lobby and pushed some girls aside. Ino called them bitches of course. Sakura elbowed them in the ribs a little bit. Tenten asked them every so kindly for forgiveness. Hinata blushed in her friends' name.

And then, the four of them were welcomed by a young man … A shirtless young man … Dressed in nothing but a bow-tie ... And jeans … And strangely he seemed to be all oily, for some reason. She blinked a few times. Opened her mouth to speak. Closed it. Opened it again. Did her best to tear her gaze away from his six-pack. What the …?

Before she had the time to start hyperventilating, she was being pulled into the club. Just to be welcomed by more young men … shirtless … oily. Carrying plates around and flashing seductive smiles their way. Sakura ran out from behind Hinata, almost pushing her to the ground in the process, and accosted one of the … waiters?

Jumping up and down in front of him, she clapped her hands in hysteric glee, her pink locks whipping the air.

"I must be dead and in paradise."

The guy threw his head back and laughed heartily.

"If I give you forty, can I touch?!"

Hinata had no idea what was going on. What she did know was that there was a lot of male skin being flashed all around her. And here went Sakura shoving two bills of twenty dollars into the … waiter's pants and hungrily passing her hands over his pectorals and six-pack as the poor guy did his best not to drop any drinks on her head.

"You're gonna get oily before your time, Sakura. Let's go."

Keeping her grip on Hinata's arm, Ino grabbed onto Sakura and tried to make her way towards a table at the front. Turning her head around, Sakura sent the waiter a kiss before being pulled away by a tyrannical Ino.

"I would let you get me oily all over."

They did not make it to the table however. Because eventually, when she got a good glimpse of a stage at the front and of a policeman starting to lose his clothes, Hinata understood she had been swindled by Ino and Sakura. Once again. Horror-stricken, she had started squealing like a butchered pig and done her best to twist out of Ino's grip.

"The hell you are, Hyūga. Be a good girl and abandon all hopes of escaping."

"I told you this would happen, Yamanaka", Tenten snapped, not interested at all by what she was seeing.

Oily muscles? Shit she saw at her job daily. Plus she didn't have to pay for it. She was more concerned about Hinata fainting in a few seconds if they didn't park their ass somewhere. But actually, Tenten was amazed at how Ino managed the situation. She was able to keep Sakura from molesting a waiter while she hindered Hinata from escaping. People shouldn't make fun of business undergrads. Great organizational skills.

They eventually did reach the front of the scene on which a cowboy was giving some party girl a wild ride. Pushing Hinata between the two of them, Sakura and Ino slid onto the velvety seats of a booth and were ready to go crazy. Hinata's eyes turned and she slumped against the back of the couch. She was between conscious … and unconscious.

This was a horrible nightmare. And she hoped she would wake-up. Hinata really did hope so. Her stomach lurched while she did her best to keep her eyes focused on the ceiling. But easier said than done when colorful lights were turning right above her head. She would either end up blinded by those lights … either by the sight in front of her.

"What will the ladies have?"

Sakura didn't know where to look first. The cowboy only had his hat left on and was shaking the most delicious ass she had seen in a long while. But the waiter was drop-dead gorgeous. Damn, she would tip him, alright!

"_Sex-on-the-Beach_", she screamed in ecstasy.

Ino grinned at her. Good thing with Sakura was that when she went wild, she went wild. Ino knew that eventually, after a few sips of alcohol, she would be able to manipulate Sakura to go on stage with her so they could molest one of those chunks of masculinity in public.

"_Mojito_", Ino ordered.

Trying to keep her eyes set on the waiter's face (and not let them trail to his tight _Calvin Klein_ boxers that left nothing to the imagination), Hinata did her best to beg for some help. She was being sequestrated against her will and was about to get terribly sick. In fact, she could feel her temperature soar. She must have looked like a lobster. However, problem was, she stuttered.

"H-H-H-H …"

"Uhm, is your friend there okay?"

"She's fine", Ino retored, not even sparing Hinata a glance. "Just really excited! Get her a _Flirtini_."

Tenten was about to acquaint Ino's face with her fist, very honestly. Thing was, Ino would sue her. And you did not want Ino to sue your ass. She would make it look like first-degree murder in some way or another. That was her job; make shit look like something it wasn't.

"And for you, sweetie?"

"_Whiskey_ on the rocks."

Shooting Hinata a worried glance, Tenten added:

"And a paper bag."

It took Ino and Sakura half an hour to go through three drinks, while Tenten still nursed her _whiskey_. Next would be pure _vodka_. Heck at this point, they could bring her ninety-seven percent ethanol. Hinata's _Flirtini_ was abandoned on the table. Good thing, because the way she was breathing in the paper bag, Tenten could bet she would go nauseous on the situation sooner or later.

They honestly needed to find a way to get her out of there. Tenten had told Ino the idea was shit. Like, who the fuck would even think about taking Hinata, of all people, to go see _Chippendales_. Male strippers. For fuck's sake. Keeping her eyes glued to the table, Hinata just tried to shut the bad music and hysteric-chick screams out. How low could women fall, seriously? It was beyond her. She took a few more desperate breaths from her paper bag.

At some point Sakura kinda got sick of watching, and grabbed onto her purse, retrieved a fifty dollar bill, kicked Hinata's _Flirtini_ away, crawled over the table and onto the stage.

"Hell, yeah, Sakura!"

In no time, Ino joined her on stage with a few one-hundred dollar bills in her hand. That was the moment Hinata chose to raise her head. Wonderful, truly … wonderful. There was Sakura twerking against the stripper's leg while Ino rubbed her back on his chest. Her pretty dress would be ruined from all that oil. Not that she fucking cared! The room was going crazy and Ino was spending, spending, spending! The strippers were ecstatic. She would become the customer of the week, potentially of the month.

And Hinata blacked out from so much _kitsch_. Throwing her head back, she collapsed against Tenten. Ok. Fuck it, Tenten would get a cab. Honestly, why the fuck had she even agreed?! Because Ino could be damn convincing, that's why. She wasn't a lawyer for nothing, goddammit. She understood the _no-babying_ rule, but honestly Hinata needed out. Exhausted, Sakura made her way back to their table.

"Sakura, keep an eye on Hinata, ok? I need a breather and she just passed out."

Scowling, Sakura went into medic mode, putting her fingers to Hinata's throat.

"Mhm. You go and breathe, Ten. I'll stay with her."

Tenten grabbed onto her clutch and headed for the exit to the damn place. She needed a calm spot so she could make the godforsaken phone call and get the fuck out of here. At the very moment Tenten turned her back, Sakura softly tapped Hinata's cheeks a few times. As she started coming back, Hinata felt like she had been hit by a freight-train.

"Hina, you don't feel all that well. You want us to move you?"

Ino, being the shark that she was, spotted Tenten walking away from their table and leaving Hinata behind. She jumped onto the occasion, running towards the bar and whispering something to the barman's ear. Soon enough, money was being exchanged. And in no time, their dearest Hina was being moved. To a much calmer place, where she would be able to breathe until the cab came.

**x.x.x.**

You knew you'd hit the bottom when you started smoking. But it was his only joy. Urgh. He sounded like a fucking _emo_. Funny shit, here he was standing in the back alley. In slippers. Dressed in nothing but a thin bathrobe. And smoking his cheap cigarette. Shit you did instead of writing that "_International Broadcasting in Public Diplomacy 2.0_" paper you had been ranting about to your supervisor for the last six months.

Letting the smoke leave his lips, he raised his head to the sky. You didn't see any stars in Boston, sucked dicks. Everything about life generally sucked dicks. Hello, _emo_. But honestly, at twenty-six, Sasuke felt he had been fucked in the ass by life. Having your older brother go join some dark sect was one thing. Having that same brother killed was yet another thing. But having him leave a few millions to that fucking sect, the _Church of the New Dawn_, was the cherry on the sundae.

Here you had their dumb father forgetting to change his will before dying and leaving all the dough to Itachi. And Itachi running off at age thirteen to join a sect. Like, where the hell had their uncle Madara been, for fuck's sake?! Oh, wait. He had been the founder of the damn sect. Right. All in all, Sasuke was pretty much penniless because of his brother's selflessness. Sure, doing your _PhD_ in political sciences insured you got some grants. But once you paid the tuition fees and all the books you needed, there wasn't much left for food and rent. Fuck Itachi's selflessness, honestly.

So Sasuke was working his part-time evening job. At the moment, he had a break though. Forty-five minutes of peace. Obviously, he couldn't remain sitting in the dressing-room because his coworkers were assholes. And they bitched about him smoking. Aww, fuck. Hearing the door behind him slide open, he stepped aside.

"Yo, bastard, why the hell are you hiding out here?"

Turning around, Sasuke just shot the dumb blond head peeking from behind the door his coldest glare. Why the fuck did he think?! Blowing smoke into Naruto's eyes, he tried to shove him back in with his free hand. Wasn't working.

"Ow, goddamit. Don't fucking do that."

Urgh. Where the hell was the _off_ button on that thing? Looking around himself, Naruto motioned for Sasuke to come closer.

"Hey, hey, Sasuke, got a stint for you."

Hah. Stints for Sasuke. No way. This dickhead had pulled him into the damn club a few years back. And it had been the worst decision Sasuke had ever made. Ever. Ever, ever. Yes, even worse than deciding to study politics, for whatever obscure. Sasuke was broke, had gone through his savings account (you'd think that with a father who'd been sitting on gold, you would have more than a few thousands in a savings account, think again) and was left to mooch off of Naruto. Which had been a pretty lame period of his life. Living in Naruto's bachelor apartment, sleeping on the ground and eating fucking ramen. It had been high time Sasuke got himself a fucking job.

But of course, count on Sasuke not wanting to work for fucking _Taco Bell_. Did he look like a greasy-faced fifteen-year old that wanted the latest _Playstation_?! Or _XBox_ or whatever. And any other job he could have gotten himself was full-time. Now you tell Sasuke how to manage classes and a _nine-to-five_ job at the same time. Naruto, being the bighearted asshole that he was, kinda _suggested_ Sasuke came and took a look at his part-time job. And obviously, Sasuke being the good friend he was had had no idea what his best bud from elementary even did. Obviously, money for rent and food had come from somewhere; just that Sasuke had taken in account Naruto was the _Taco Bell_ type. Turned out he was a … Sasuke couldn't bring himself to say the word out loud.

"Bastard, you listening?! Six hundred bucks, my man. For twenty minutes. Come on! You ain't dancing for another hour or so."

Six … hundred? Okay. Yes. He had to admit it. Sasuke was a bitch for money. This being the reason he had accepted the dumbass job in the first place. The amount of money he made was obscene. But he still felt like he'd sold his soul to the devil. If there was one thing Sasuke Uchiha hated, it was females. The very thought made him gag. He wasn't gay, he fucked here and there. Never for money, eh! But, honestly, he hated anything that had a vagina. There was a reason _hysterectomy_ and _hysteria_ came from the same Greek root … or was it Latin?

All that to say, being surrounded by famished bitches was a pain in the ass. A traumatizing pain in the ass. How many times had he escaped being raped? Countless. He felt he had aged thirty years since he'd started working there. Plus, he was illegal. He wasn't allowed to work since he had grants. The owner paid him under the table and the only reason they kept him was that he brought in so much money they could most probably feed Africa for a week after each one of his dances.

"Six hundred for twenty minutes?! It's a dude?!"

Come on. Who would pay six hundred bucks for a lap dance?! Only a desperate dude that wanted some boy-love! Even a female elephant wouldn't have to shell out that much for someone to shake his ass for her. Naruto shot him his trademark grin. And look at Sasuke's balls shriveling.

"Nah, it's a chick. Only one chick. Just that she might be a little difficult, they say."

Yo. No way. He was not going to get a _dildo_ shoved up his. Sasuke knew shit was going to get down if Naruto of all people used that wording. '_A little difficult_.' An ex-convict? A _tranny_? A she-rapist? A _BDSM_ fanatic? With Naruto '_a little difficult_' could mean a lot of shit. But every time Sasuke had accepted one of Naruto's difficult ones, he had found himself running for his life.

Six hundred bucks.

Urgh. Sasuke was a whore. A cheap whore. His self-esteem was worth six hundred bucks. The fact he may never be able to look at himself in the mirror ever again was just a detail. And imagine someone ever found out that the very proper, very talented Sasuke Uchiha was a male stripper?! He could kiss his future tenure goodbye. Actually, if anyone found out, he could kiss his _PhD_ goodbye. He would be left living on the streets and giving blowjobs for a sandwich. Six hundred bucks, though.

"How difficult?"

A throaty laugh from Naruto.

"Her friends think she might be lesbian, so they want to make sure, is all. She might try to escape, they say."

A … lesbian. If she were a lesbian, she would not touch him. This was … good. Lesbians were his favorite type of chicks. They were the most cool-headed, the most logical type of females. He could live with dancing for a lesbo.

"Hn."

Throwing his maggot away, he stepped into the dressing-room. Sasuke made his way to his … vanity with Naruto following. Yes, he had a faggot vanity; you got a problem with that?! Pulling his bathroom off, he was left in nothing but a teeny tiny _G-string_. Pink. With sparkles. Someone just kill him already. And the awkward part of it? Naruto was dressed in a rabbit outfit. Like honestly.

Sasuke grabbed his oil and started getting ready to have his soul raped. The guy who was looking at him in the mirror was just screaming in anguish. '_Why are you doing this to me?!_' Because of money, buddy, because of money. Heh. Sasuke was his own pimp. Carefully, he gathered oil in his hand and applied it to his shoulders, his pectorals, his stomach. He would shine like a fucking frying pan. And the truly awkward shit? Naruto, with his bunny ears, was looking at him doing the job.

"You fucking mind?!"

Naruto just shot him a dumbfounded look. Uh oh. You didn't want to make the little hamster in Naruto's brain run too fast in his wheel; it might have a heart-attack.

"No, not at all. You need some help with the back?"

Reaching for the oil bottle, Naruto was damn serious. Sasuke considered it a threat. It sounded more like '_let me have a feel_' than anything else. Before Naruto got to the bottle, his forefinger was being twisted back. Who would have thought Naruto screamed like a little bitch?! Sasuke had almost expected seeing the mirror break and his glass of water explode at Naruto's shriek.

"You touch me and I punch you in the balls."

Ok. Fair enough.

"You're a psycho."

How cute, Naruto sounded like some type of rodent. Something fucking annoying. _Alvin and the Chipmunks_. Massaging his poor hand, bunny-man shot Sasuke dirty glare in the mirror. Yeah, well, guess what asshole?! No dick is ever, as in _ever_, going to touch Sasuke. Since he'd started working, Sasuke had become traumatized by any type of physical contact. It was all sexual assault. A girl smiling at him in the bus was sexual assault! But he still considered sex with her. Whatever.

Sasuke stood up, leaving his back unoiled. The awkward part of oiling yourself were the legs. You had to lift them, and when there was someone else watching, like say, your best friend, you had to be careful for your fucking balls not to slip out of your fucking _G-string_. Your pink _G-string_. With fucking sparkles. Urgh. He grabbed the matching mask and pulled it over his eyes. A little part of him died right there, right then.

"Where the fuck is she?"

Well, _she_ was in one of their private lounges fanning herself with her hand. Not knowing what the hell had happened to her. She loved her friends. They were the best part of her life. Just that … well, she hated them too. They always got her into trouble. And did the most unexpected things at the most unexpected times. What was she doing in this horrible place?! It had been pure torture to look at all … those naked bodies. Rubbing against women. And seeing Ino and Sakura … sexually assaulting men had been highly traumatizing. Even if they paid for it generously.

Hinata felt another anxiety attack wash over her. Started hyperventilating again. This was so wrong. So deeply wrong. And where the heck was her glass of water?! Ino had left her in the room and promised to get her a glass of water. But it wasn't coming. Leaning against the back of the couch she was seated on, Hinata felt so weary. Mark her words; she would never go out with the girls again. And where had Tenten disappeared to?!

She heard some noise. Actually, there had been two doors to the room. One she had entered through and another at the opposite side. And that was the one being opened. Jumping to her feet, Hinata brought her hands to her throat. And what stepped into the room made her suspect she was dead and in hell. Could she have a word with Satan?!

Sasuke stepped in and froze. In front of him was standing some chick. As expected. But her facial expression made him doubt he had entered the right room. Her mouth was hanging open, her pale eyes were bulging out and her hands pressed against her throat. Uhm … Well, she looked like a fish. Pretty much. How the hell was he supposed to give her a lap dance if she wasn't sitting?! And the stare she was giving him just sapped all his inspiration.

Pink, glittery mask. Black hair. Shinning as if he had had a very tiring workout. What the hell was that … thing?! Her eyes trailed from his face down his pectorals, his stomach. And came to rest on … on … She screamed. A blood-curdling shriek. Even more high-pitched than Naruto's. Sasuke would go deaf by the end of the night. Before he had the time to say something, her body hit the floor making a very distinct _thump_ sound.

Behind the door Hinata had entered through, two girls were pressing against each other, trying to hear what the hell was happening.

"She screamed. At least we know the stripper is in there with her."

"You think she's going to be ok?"

"Of course she is, don't worry."

The two girls grinned at each other and sashayed away. They would be back in twenty minutes, but until then they had to find someone to harass.

Well, at least they had answered the main question. She was a lesbian. Only a lesbian would go _that_ crazy on Sasuke's ass. Like, come on, what girl would scream and faint in front of him?! In front of such a specimen of masculinity and sexiness. Dressed in a teeny-tiny _G-string_ that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

"Hey, idiot, she is a lesbian. Where is my money?"

"What the fuck was that scream?!"

Stepping into the room, Naruto froze. Well, there was a pretty hot girl sprawled on the ground. Damn, she had a nice rack, almost spilling out of her dress. And the legs, those damn legs …

"You've punched her?!"

"Tch."

Sasuke hadn't had to; she'd done the shit herself. And it was kind of a shame that such a girl would be a lesbian, really. Now, Sasuke didn't like chicks, but he could recognize when he saw a hot one. And that one was damn hot. Plus, there was something nice in knowing there still were chicks out there that didn't throw themselves at a guy's head. Now, in her case, it was mostly because she swung the other way. Whatever

Turning around Sasuke stepped out of the room to come back with his glass of water. Without much care, with Naruto hunching above the girl and scowling at her, Sasuke just splashed the contents of the glass all over her pretty face. She opened her eyes immediately.

"I fucking knew it", Naruto yelled.

"Hinata, it's you!"

Turning her head to the side, Hinata was welcomed by a very strange sight. She was going crazy. She must have been going crazy and still dreaming. She had had a nightmare in which Sakura and Ino had pulled her along to a strip-club and now she was dreaming about Naruto whom she had not seen for at least three years. With bunny ears on his head. She wondered whether she should not be cutting down on frozen food. You didn't know what shit was in there.

"N-Naruto …"

Sasuke took a step forwards and looked down at the girl. Hinata? Who was Hinata, again? Rang a bell. As she looked at him, she yelped softly, realizing the nightmare wasn't over yet.

"Sasuke, it's Hinata!"

… Sasuke?! Sasuke … Uchiha?!

Helping her sit up, Naruto held onto her small hand while she just stared at Sasuke dumbfounded. Hinata? Hinata, Hinata, Hinata? Who was Hinata again? He seemed to remember some black-haired chick always dressed in sweats and hoodie. Kinda fat.

"Wasn't she fat before?"

Damn. The chick participated in _The Biggest Loser Wins_ or shit? 'Cause, she went from _fatty_ to _hottie_.

"Hinata wasn't fat", Naruto croaked, trying to smile at the her. And not look too much at her make-up leaking.

"Uhm, Hinata. What the fuck are _you_ doing here?!"

She tried to take a breath. Failed. Tried again. To Sasuke she looked like a dying fish. A hot dying fish, with a nice rack. But damn did her make-up leaking remind him of something right out of a horror movie. She would have been great in _The Grudge_ or _The Ring_.

"I-I-Ino and S-S-S-Sakura …"

That was all Sasuke heard before his ears started to ring. And his pressure dropped. He almost joined that Hina-chick on the ground. Ino and Sakura. Two words that described all the misery of the world. Ino and Sakura. The two main reasons he had started hating females in the first place.

How many times had the two of them tried to rape him? Molest him? They had been after his ass since he was seven. Yes. Seven. Not leaving him any peace. Their whole life had revolved around Sasuke. College had made shit better. Well, it would've made shit better had they not applied to _Harvard_ so they could be with him.

He had lost touch with the both of them however. Thank the Lord. It had taken graduation and Ino to get into law school and Sakura into med-school. But finally, even if his life had been flushed down the drain, he was getting some peace in that department. And now you had this dumb black-haired chick appearing out of nowhere to tell him that Ino and Sakura might be somewhere in their dumb club?! Someone kill him now!

If any of the two of them saw him, not only would he end up raped. The whole world would get to know he worked as a male stripper. Losing his sexual integrity would be the least of his problems. He would also lose his grants, his _PhD_ and his credibility. Sasuke was done for. Sure, he could make a run for it. But this dumb chick Naruto was cuddling at the moment would spill the shit to the world. She was friends with Ino and Sakura … Then again; he remembered her as pretty shy and shit. But she had been fat! Now that she was not fat anymore, she could be dangerous. Chicks changed when they got hot!

"What the hell do you think they are doing in there?"

That voice. That whiny, annoying, bitchy voice. Ino. Ino Yamanaka.

"Stand up."

What … was happening?! Hinata had no idea. The only thing she knew was that the masked man, who could or could not be Sasuke Uchiha, had bent down grabbed onto her clutch and her hand and was hoisting her up.

"Bastard, what the hell …?"

"Shut up."

And there went Hinata. Running on her three-inch heels, pulled along by a guy who's butt chicks contracted at every step he took. He had just made it past the door to the dressing-room with the Hina-chick when Ino opened the other door … to find Naruto Uzumaki standing in the middle of the room. With rabbit ears on his head.

He yelped desperately as Sakura elbowed her way into the room. Cupping his balls through the fabric of his _speedo_, Naruto did his best to flash them a seductive smile. It looked more like a pained grimace.

"Naruto, idiot, what the fuck are you doing here?!"

During that time, Tenten had been standing outside, by the bouncer, desperately waiting for the goddamn cab that wasn't coming. Like, fuck Boston, honestly. She felt like they were in a third-world country, for God's sake. Hinata was in there, dying a little bit every minute. She had told them it was a damn emergency. She could always call _nine-one-one_ and make it sound like Hina was bleeding to death. Urgh.

That was when she saw it. There was a dude running from out of an alley … dressed in nothing but … Well, Tenten wasn't sure he was dressed in anything looking at his back. 'Cause his butt-cheeks were pretty naked. And, heh, funny. There was a chick running away with him. Poor girl, running on such high heels. Honestly, some people. It always amazed Tenten how bored people must have been to have sex in public. Hmm. That chick looked like someone Tenten knew … and she was wearing the same type of tight, purple dress … and her hair was the same too …

Oh. God. No fucking way. Her jaw dropped. Someone must have put something in her _whiskey_ because she was hallucinating. Tenten was hallucinating. That's when a call came in. Her eyes still glued on the pair that was running away, she instinctively turned her cellphone on and brought it to her ear.

"Ten, Hinata disappeared! She is nowhere in the club!"

Sakura's high-pitched voice cut through the haze of her mind. Wait a second, a fucking stripper was–

"There is a fucking stripper kidnapping Hinata at the moment, I can see them!"

Tenten screamed so loud that all the chicks waiting in line turned their eyes towards her and even the bouncer lifted an eyebrow. Whatever. Fuck that shit. No one was gonna kidnap their Hinata under her eyes. Elbowing the chick closest by in the throat, Tenten jumped into the street. Completely forgetting she was wearing heels, she sped up. Has it been mentioned that Tenten was in a very good shape?

It took her no time to reach the stripper and Hinata. Hina was completely unable to run on heels and the guy had been jumping around, trying to avoid pieces of glass here and there since he was barefoot. Pff, amateur.

Tenten would show him how you took care of business. Jumping up, her fist made contact with the side of his head. Mr. _Chippendale_ went crashing, his mask flying in the air. Ending up on the sideway, he pulled Hinata down with him. Hinata who was completely out of it, by the way. She hadn't even realized they had been running in the streets. Her head had just been jumping up and down while she had thought about bunnies and Satan.

But, well, she ended up straddling a nice hunk of masculinity. As her legs split on either side of Sasuke's hips, a horrible ripping sound resounded through the street. There went her pretty dress, not that she realized. Sasuke as well felt pretty hazy until–

"Ino! There they are!"

Sakura. That had been Sakura's voice. Passing a horrified hand over his face, he realized (well, besides realizing his head hurt like shit) his mask was nowhere to be found. Fuck. There went his life. His ambitions. His pride. His fucking pride.

"I punched the piece of shit."

Footsteps getting closer. Closer. Closer. He did the only thing he could. Nothing but one option left. Contracting his muscles, he lifted his upper-body as much as possible and shoved his face into that Hina-chick's more than generous cleavage. Since she had yet to come in contact with reality, her first instinct, feeling something push against her breasts, was to pass her arms around it and bring it closer. Squeeze it as hard as possible against her boobs. To the point it, well, Sasuke, couldn't breathe anymore.

"Oh my fucking God! Hina … are we … are we interrupting something?!"

Ino who had jogged towards them just looked down on the scene. Some guy had his face buried in Hinata's cleavage … This was so … beautiful. Ino had always known that you had to go big or go home. And she had been right! She had had the best idea in the whole universe! Take Hinata to a male strip-club. And here was her baby Hina, her darling, her cute little bundle of innocence going completely crazy and having public sex with a stripper! This was so wonderful. Ino felt tears rushing to her eyes.

Sakura appeared at her side in no time. And felt more or less the same thing just that …

"Hinata, you can't have sex in the middle of the street! That's illegal", she croaked in horror.

"Oh my God, what the fuck is wrong with the two of you?!"

Tenten was beyond pissed. This was ridiculous. The guy had tried to kidnap Hinata?! To steal her. The way you stole a … a pumpkin, a watermelon, a horse, what did she know!

"Hinata, get off of him!"

She didn't budge. Just looked up at them with glazy eyes.

"Shut up, Ten", Ino and Sakura yelped in unison.

Hina had not gotten any for a long while. At least four years, most probably more since Shino had been badly sick. They were not going to let Tenten ruin this perfect moment. Their little Hina had finally become a roaring lioness. No one, but no one, would get between her and that … bundle of testosterone that was enjoying … her bosom at the moment. Ino and Sakura were adamant. Just that … well, Sakura had a point.

"Hina, darling, you can't be having sex in public. I don't want to have to defend you for public indecency. Be a nice girl and get yourself a hotel room, ok?"

Bending over, Ino reached for Hinata's abandoned clutch and shoved five credit cards inside of it, some cash and three condoms.

"There you go! You leave him a nice tip", she giggled obscenely with Sakura nodding her head enthusiastically.

"We are going to go now and leave the two of you alone", Sakura added cheerfully.

"The fuck we a–"

Tenten got Ino to shove a condom pack into her mouth. By the time she succeeded in spitting out, she had been dragged away.

"He is going to murder her", she shrieked for the whole street to hear.

"Don't be such a drama-queen, Ten", Sakura quipped in.

"Yeah, relax, Ten. That bracelet she has … It is a gift from me. Integrated _GPS_."

"You are such a mother-hen, pig."

"Shut up, billboard-brow."

All that had been very interesting and Sasuke had enjoyed it greatly … not. Just that, well, he would have liked to take a breath of air now that Ino and Sakura had gone away. Fact was, the chick's boobs were great and shit … but he was going to die from asphyxia. Reaching behind, he desperately started slapping any part of her anatomy he could get to. Now, the fact it was her ass he slapped the most was a coincidence, really. He wasn't getting a feel or anything. He wasn't, for fuck's sake.

The slaps did eventually have the expected effect. Hinata let go of Sasuke's head and shrieked in horror, realizing what she had been doing. He took a healthy gulp of air. Damn. Damn. Damn. His head hurt like shit. What the fuck had happened?! Someone had punched him. Badly. Tenten. Another name that rang a bell.

"Get off of me."

A shocked yelp from Hinata made his temples pound even harder. And she did slide off of him. Had Sasuke known how shitty his day would turn out to be, he would have called in sick and just sat at his computer and written that fucking paper. Funny how Hinata was thinking the same thing as she stood up. She was crimson and still had issues breathing. And a naked, well almost, Sasuke wasn't helping. She hadn't seen him for over four years … and how did they have to reacquaint?! In a goddamn strip-club. Sasuke and her had never been friends. And she didn't really feel like remedying to the situation.

He tried to push up. But couldn't. He was so sore he was sure he would die right then, right there. He must have had internal bleeding or something. His brain was damaged beyond repair. And here he was, sprawled on the sidewalk, virtually naked. He only needed a nice bow and he would be the perfect gift for the first pervert that passed by.

"Uhm … d-do you n-n-need help, g-getting up?"

Had the chick always sounded so fucking … annoying?! And yet, she kneeled down and, keeping her eyes glued to his forehead, did her best to help him sit up. He was nauseous. And her hands were soft. So had her breasts been.

And somewhere far away, there was _a_ Tenten being restrained by a bouncer after a blond and a pink-haired girl told him she was suffering from schizophrenia. While they walked back into the club, giggling gleefully.

**x.x.x.**

She couldn't have left him like that in the middle of the street. He had been ill. Tenten had not missed him. She never missed a target. And he'd been naked. He might have caught a cold and it would have been all her fault. Plus, she had fallen on him. Those were the reasons Hinata, without realizing the back of her dress was ripped and she was flashing her underwear, was doing her best to help a wobbly Sasuke Uchiha make his way back to his apartment. That thank God, hadn't been too far away.

Because he wasn't a freak. They weren't friends, but she knew Sasuke enough (she had a crush on Naruto for the first four months of her undergrad or so and he was Sasuke's best friend) not to feel threatened by him. Then again, he turned out to be a … a … she couldn't bring herself to even think about the word. But he obviously needed help. That is why she bent over and pushed the rug in front of his apartment door away to find the key. Fact was, Sasuke was getting a good look at her panties and she didn't even realize it. White lace? There were still chicks wearing white? Interesting.

Good thing he was completely cracked and her face was caked, because he might have … Yeah, not going there. As Hinata swung the door open, she stepped aside and blushed deeply. Gosh, this whole evening had gone so wrong. So, so wrong. He wobbled in leaving her standing in the doorframe. What the heck was she supposed to tell him. Goodnight?

"Uhm … G-Goodnight, S-S-Sasuke … It was … It was, uhm, n-nice seeing y-you …"

She took a tentative step back with an almost naked Sasuke intently staring at her. He was still … naked. What, had she hoped clothes would miraculously appear on him as soon as he stepped into his apartment?! A _reverse-Cinderella_?! It hadn't and so she turned around and swiftly made her way to the stairs.

"You're going like that?"

Like … what?! Turning around she shot him a fast glance.

"You're dress is torn."

She almost lost footing. Hinata had been this close of rolling down the stairs. Evaluating the situation, she realized she was a little dirty, but there didn't seem to be any damage to her dress. Until she turned her head and shot a glance at her butt. Faint on the stairs? Eventuality.

The anguished moan that escaped her might have touched Sasuke. It would have, had he had any feelings. Urgh. He would not … But then, she had helped him and he felt she was too ashamed of what had happened to sell him off. Could he be sure though? He might try and bully her into keeping her trap shut … She did look like a pushover.

"Get in; I'll lend you some clothes."

What other option did she have?! She would enter the apartment of the man that had pushed his face into her … cleavage. He hadn't wanted to be recognized, obviously. She could see why. Sakura and Ino would most probably go crazy. And Ino wasn't exactly known for being good at keeping secrets. Actually, not true. She was the type to keep a secret till eternity, there were certain things only Ino knew concerning Hinata and they were safe with her. But there were some secrets she would never keep. Anything to do with Sasuke Uchiha, for one.

Stepping into the apartment, she closed the door behind her, wanting for the ground to open and swallow her. This was so terribly embarrassing. Keeping her back to the door, she shot Sasuke a glance from under her eyelashes. He didn't as much as bat an eyelash at her being in his apartment. He owed her some clothes, a little talk and bye-bye. Reason why he disappeared in a hallway and went rummaging through his shit. T-shirt, pajama bottoms, that's as far as his generosity went.

While he was in his room, he got rid of that horror he was wearing and pulled on a pair of boxers and pajama bottoms himself. Taking the clothes he intended for her he put them on the edge of the bath in the bathroom and grabbed himself a towel. Rubbing his chest, he reappeared in his entrance.

"First door to your right. T-shirt and pajama bottoms."

Keeping her glance suspiciously glued to his feet, Hinata shifted her way towards the hallway, her back sweeping the wall. He'd already seen her panties, for fuck's sake. And why the fuck was she looking at him as if he were a freak?! She'd been the one to go to a strip-club. Now, he must admit she had screamed and fainted. Shame she was a lesbian. Or was she? Did lesbians blush that much at seeing a bear-chested man? And did lesbians hold onto a man the way she had onto him? None of his fucking business.

Just that her breasts had felt nice, was all. But other chicks had breasts that felt nice. Other chicks smelled nice. Other chicks … nah, other chicks didn't accompany you back to your apartment to make sure you were safe. And she was damn right to look at him as if he were a freak. He had just grabbed onto her hand and run for it. In a pink, glittery _speedo_ of sorts. He rubbed the oil of off his pectorals more energetically. She could most probably sue him for sexual assault. And Ino would be her lawyer. Sounded wonderful.

As Hinata entered the washroom, she got a glimpse of herself and almost screamed for the hundredth time of the evening. Her make-up had leaked and it was not pretty to look at. Racoon. She looked like a racoon. Hinata decided to take care of the situation immediately. Turning the water on, she bent over the sink and rubbed at her face. After a good five minutes, she looked like a human being again. Grabbing the hem of her ruined dress; she brought it up to dry her face, not knowing which towel she might have used. She looked around, didn't spot the clothes Sasuke had left for her. Unfortunately, they had slid into the tub and she hadn't had the reflex to look for them there.

Thinking she might have misunderstood the door, she shuffled out and entered the room right in front. And fair enough, there seemed to be to something like clothes placed on the bed. And books. Books covering the whole bed. Reading their titles, she discarded the rests of her dress and distractedly grabbed onto the shirt. Once it was over her heard, she pretty much forgot about the fact there were no pajama pants around.

"_Friends,_ _Followers and the Future: How Social Media are Changing Politics, Threatening Big Brands, and Killing Traditional Media__._"

That sounded like a really interesting title. Hinata didn't know much about politics, but she was an avid reader of the _New York Times_ and never shied away from knowledge. Completely forgetting she was in some guy's room and not in her own apartment, she grabbed the book. Placing a knee on the bed and leaning in, she started flipping through the pages. She would go look for the pajama pants in five minutes, promise. Just give her five minutes.

Once Sasuke got rid of his contact lenses and put on his _Hugo Boss_ glasses he started looking around, wondering where the hell he had put his damn shirt. Must have forgotten it in his room. And he didn't mind going about bare-chested, it's just that he would most probably have to call that Hina-chick a cab and wait with her. He better be fully dressed while he waited with her. She had seen enough of him in his birthday suit for a whole century. Making his way back to his room, he was left speechless. For potentially the first time in his life. Well, he didn't speak much (what the hell he did in politics was beyond everyone, whatever), but he was rarely speechless. Just that he hadn't expected …

There was a girl on his bed. Actually, she had one knee on his bed and was bending over. Reading one of the books he used for his thesis. And wearing his t-shirt. Well, the one he had meant for himself. Her panties were riding up her backside and giving him a good view of … everything. And he … liked what he saw. So, let us recapitulate. She had screamed when he'd come dressed as a manwhore to do his job, a.k.a give her a lap-dance. She had let him bury his face into her cleavage. And here she was reading one of those books everyone deemed boring like shit. While wearing his t-shirt.

Who the fuck was this Hinata?!

He had no idea. What he did know was that he was as hard as a fucking iron pole and that there was an obscene tent appearing in his pajama bottoms. Turning her head around, she froze. In the doorway was Sasuke. Wearing glasses. Black glasses. And looking … hands-down gorgeous. That was one hell of a transformation right there. Barely fifteen minutes ago, he had been the most horrifying sight she had ever been given to behold. Truth about Hinata … she was turned on by the books.

_Cyberspaces and Global Affairs._

_The Rhetoric of Soft Power: Public Diplomacy in Global Contexts._

_Real-Time Diplomacy: Politics and Power in the Social Media Era._

_The Practice of Public Diplomacy: Confronting Challenges Abroad._

It all went right to her groin. But glasses … Dear Lord, glasses. She had always had a thing for men in glasses. It just made her want to scream and roll around and moan. She had a thing for intellectuals. Yes, she had had a thing for some of her professors. Some chicks liked muscles, some chicks liked ass, Hinata liked glasses! And here was a disturbingly handsome man staring intently at her through glasses.

It had been so long for her. So very long. And unfortunately, she had good self-control and that natural bashfulness that ruined everything. Turning around immediately, she blushed violently and did her best to cover her thighs with the shirt she had found.

"I-I-I-I … am s-s-s-sorry … I, uhm … d-d-didn't f-find the p-pajamas …"

Thing was. Sasuke wasn't exactly like her. Oh, he could admit that for the first time books turned him on as well. The dumb bimbos he brought back were usually interested in only one thing. His dick. None of them had as much as spared his books a glance. Or even asked him what it was that he did in life. Some of the chicks he met at the club, some in college. He just wanted to practice so he didn't atrophy. Sasuke played stud for them and didn't mind it one bit.

Just that he hadn't gotten any for a while. At least six months, maybe more. He hadn't felt inspired one bit. Happened to the best. But here he was with a huge boner. And not all that sure he could restrain himself. Especially not at a sight of a girl reading on his bed. An attractive girl. She had been hot with make-up on; she was simply gorgeous without any. And honestly, how many girls had blushed and fiddled their fingers while sitting on his bed.

Game over. Had he been an intelligent man, Sasuke would have kept away. But he was a fucking idiot that worked as a _Chippendale_. He was starved and the way she looked at him, with that strange gleam in her eye, he could bet she was too. No way she was a lesbian. She was friends with Sakura and Ino, though. Fuck that shit, Sasuke wanted her … now. And he would make her want him too.

Stalking towards her, his eyes burned. No one had ever looked at her that way. As if he meant to have her. Hinata froze all over. She was so cold that she felt like she was aflame. No one had approached her that way, looked at her that way. Not even …

When he was nothing but a step away from her, Sasuke bent over and observed her go rigid. But she did not pull away. Leaning in, his dark eyes caught hers and held them. She was not going to say no, he knew as much. As for saying yes? He would make her say yes.

She gasped. It rang like music to Sasuke's ears. No girl had ever gasped before he had even touched her. This girl was so … innocent. What girl of twenty-six could boast of still being innocent? Of still gasping, blushing before a man even touched her. And yet, she did not pull away from him. Slowly, deliberately, Sasuke drew closer, his lips tentatively caressing hers. It had been barely a touch. And yet, as he moved away, Hinata was left to pant.

Sasuke loved it. He loved the lack of control she had over her own desires. He loved the way she panted and the reproach he could see in her eyes. Her innocent, reticent eyes. His hand reached for hers and before Hinata could protest, she was being hoisted up. And he kissed her once again. Gathering her hard and bringing her flush against his body, he found her mouth. Another gasp from her and his tongue claimed hers. She was stiff against him, fighting him and yet, reeling him in tighter.

He didn't know what it was about this Hinata that other chicks didn't have. But all the pent-up frustration he had had going on for the last four years got rechanneled into lust. He was worried his pole would transform into a fucking pylon. Sasuke's first clue that this casual hookup would be different. His tongue became more insistent, more demanding and the fact she obviously did not have enough experience to follow his rhythm just turned him on more.

Hinata pulled away to gasp for air shooting Sasuke the most torn glance he had ever seen. Chicks he fucked didn't have emotions. Their eyes didn't fill with tears. And they certainly didn't try to silently tell him something. Reaching for him, she snaked her arms around his necks and brought her mouth to his this time. In no time, Sasuke was maneuvering Hinata towards the bed. And as she crashed onto it, a painful yelp escaped her. The books were pricking her all over. Pushing his hands under her back, he retrieved them and just hurled them at the wall. Fuck politics and media. The only thing Sasuke could think about was getting a feel of Hinata's breasts. Again.

Hinata urgently put her arms up and he swept the shirt up and over her head. Sasuke almost convulsed at the sight of her bra. White lace on unblemished white skin. His lips latched onto her throat, licking at the sensitive skin. The response was immediate. A wanton moan, uninhibited, left her lips. Her breathing grew erratic. Sliding his hands on the smooth skin of her stomach, Sasuke reached for her heavy breasts. There was no feeling more glorious than that full, enticing flesh against his palms.

Raising his head, he took Hinata in. She was a sight to behold. Her head thrown back, her lips parted and her brows furrowed in intense pleasure. Through the weave of her lace bra, he could see her tight nipples and as much as he was enjoying the feel of them in his hands, he wanted to speed things up a little. Pulling the fabric down, his mouth went in for the kill. Extending his tongue, Sasuke swept it across a nipple, licked the tip of it, sucked it in. And the way Hinata squirmed under him was a good indication she enjoyed the attention.

Her hands buried into his hair and tugged at it. But she was far from pushing him away. On the contrary, she was eager and uncontrollable. Unable to contain her need. Her perfect self-restrain could not last any longer. Not with his lips tugging at her, not with his soft hair in her grip, not with his erection pushing at her core through the fabric of her panties.

His free hand went between her legs, without any preamble. He took what he wanted, caressing her, possessing her. And she climaxed. Immediately. She might have blushed at how fast she had come had she had any control over her breathing. But here was Hinata concentrating on finding a way to not die from asphyxia. She parted her legs further without any demand of his, eliciting a chuckle of male satisfaction.

Sasuke couldn't believe the girl. There was nothing fake in her, nothing _plastic_. Everything about her was so real, especially that way she had to abandon herself to desire. She was giving in, not trying to keep it in. It drove him crazy. He kept the pleasure going, relishing the small sighs, whines, cries she couldn't hinder.

He left her breasts to kiss her again. And she felt a tugging around her hips. Her panties were being dragged down her legs. For a split of an instant, panic rose in her chest. Six years. It had been six years. She didn't even remember what it felt like … But the cool air on her slickness was delicious. His hand went back to her thighs, enjoying her shudders and winces of bliss.

He dominated her mouth with his tongue and her chore with his fingers. As another orgasm made her arch her back and shriek in ecstasy, Sasuke lifted peeled away from her and waited for her to recuperate. Had Hinata mentioned how much Sasuke in glasses enticed her? The way her breasts swayed at each breath would drive him over the edge if he didn't take care of business. Pushing down pajamas and boxers and guiding himself towards Hinata, he sneaked his arm under her shoulders and brought their faces only inches away. His eyes held hers. And she found herself thinking how very deep Sasuke's were.

As he surged forward, Hinata stiffened immediately. Pain lanced through her and Sasuke froze, his eyes widening in shock. She was twenty-six years old. She couldn't be a–

"It's b-b-been a while for m-m-me", she whispered apologetically.

And to prove her point, she let her hands glide down his shoulders and over his torso. Clumsily, she jacked her hips up, joining them from tip to base. The stretching. The filling. The electric shock. It brought back memories. Hinata had forgotten how it felt. She had forgotten how it felt to have someone be careful with her, the way Sasuke was, letting her adjust.

Slowly increasing the friction, pumping in and out of her, Sasuke built yet another crest inside of her. As the rythm increased, his breathing became ragged. It was good. _Life-affirmingly_ good. Hinata had not felt so alive since … forever. So liberated. She wanted it hard and fast. And he was delivering the merchandise.

"You're so tight", he whispered, his voice raspy.

As his head fell into the crook of her neck, she relished at the caress of his long eyelashes against her skin. Her third orgasm was the most shattering. Her whole body pulsed and she shuddered violently. Hinata's eyes clamped shut so hard she saw stars. And Sasuke followed along, his erection pulsing and kicking inside of her.

As his eyes focused, he noticed "_The Al Jazeera Effect: How the New Global Media Are Reshaping World Politics._" by _Seib_ right behind Hinata's head. The influence of media on public diplomacy had never been so fucking hot. Oh, and hey. Sasuke'd done exactly what he told himself he would never do. He just had sex with a friend of Ino and Sakura. And he liked it. Enough for a repeat.

The next morning however had been a little more awkward. They stood outside of Sasuke's apartment block waiting for the cab. The least Sasuke could do was wait with her. After having scared the shit out of her, ruined her dress and seduced her. He shot her a glance from the corner of his eye. She was … different. Not like Sakura or Ino. Not like the girls he picked up. Whether it be at the club or in college. He'd had a six-month dry-spell. And one night with a cute girl had been enough to sap his concentration. He wanted a repeat.

Sasuke didn't mind her wearing his clothes. And he didn't mind the fact his bed would smell of her perfume. He did mind however that she was … Sakura and Ino's friend. It just didn't add up. Oh and hey, they had _met_ (not really met, just that she had been fat and now she was hot) in a strip-club. Where he worked. As an exotic dancer. That sucked dicks too. Why the hell was Sasuke's life so fucked up?! And anyways, it wasn't like he would know what to do with a girl like her.

"Uhm … W-When should I bring y-your clothes b-back?"

Looking up at him for an instant, Hinata blushed and averted her eyes. She had … molested Sasuke Uchiha. Tenten had punched him and she had taken advantage of him. This was so horrible. She couldn't even look at him. Making her plastic bag jiggle ever so slightly, she wondered what a man like Sasuke Uchiha thought about someone like her. But at least, she had had the decency of not leaving him a tip like Ino had suggested. She was scared of looking at the cellphone in her clutch. Three hundred phone calls. At least. Hinata had no idea how she would explain it to Tenten.

"Tonight after six p.m."

A cab pulled up in front of them.

"You want to grab some dinner?"

It had left Sasuke's lips before he had the time to analyze it. What the fuck was wrong with you, Uchiha?! You didn't do repeats. He didn't do repeats, ok?! And he didn't do dinners. He only fucked. Not that he had fucked her. It hadn't been fucking. Sasuke had no idea what it had been.

Her heart pounded in her chest. No. No, Hinata would not get into this. She had needed it, yes. Maybe what she had had with Sasuke was the best thing that had happened to her in the last four years. Just because it had reminded her that you didn't stop living.

Hinata had been doing exactly what Shino had always warned her against. She had been running away. For the last four years, she had gone back to being the shy girl with a low self-esteem. And guess what, time had not stopped. She had wanted time to stop so badly. So that she could keep each and every memory of Shino alive. Remember the timber of his voice, the way he pushed her hair back over her shoulder, all those things that had made Shino _Shino_.

In the end, she did not remember the exact timber of his voice. Or his touch. And she didn't remember one thing about the last four years. Because she hadn't done anything. You couldn't keep time from flowing. You could either make the most of it. Or lose your life trying to make life stop. That's all. Funny how sex could put things in perspective for a girl. Shino had made her promise she would move on. And here she had lived four years doing everything but. A shaky sigh escaped her. Hinata was scared. So scared she was almost peeing her … Sasuke's pants.

"Uhm … I-I-I … d-d-d-don't …have c-c-casual s-s-sex …"

Her pressure dropped and she was sure she would end up hitting her head on the concrete. The cab driver was getting impatient. She had not just said that. She could not– Yes. Yes, she could. Shino had always told her she could. And she had. Hinata had told the very handsome Sasuke Uchiha that she would not continue having casual sex with him.

And here he was, looking down at her. Annoyed. Well … Well, that was what it was. Hinata could do it. Fact was, it wasn't about sex for Sasuke. Rubbing the back of his head, he'd just got kicked in the balls. Kinda. What had he expected?! He was a manwhore. And standing beside a girl that deserved better.

"Tch. It's not about sex. It's about food. Thai?"

Hinata narrowed her eyes and grabbed onto the handle to the cab's door. She was scared. She was really scared. Scared of finally letting go and saying _sure_. Because, he had a point. Food wasn't about sex (she would eventually be proved wrong). Hinata could do it. She wouldn't go scampering scared anymore.

Sliding into the cab, she turned around one last time and looked at Sasuke through her long, thick eyelashes.

"Will y-you explain t-to me what the activity of b-broadcasters on social m-m-media has to do with d-diplomacy?"

Never had she needed more courage. Who would've thought public diplomacy could be so scary? But the way Sasuke Uchiha smirked down at her … made her feel like she would take the right decision when the time came.

"At six", he retorted.

**x.x.x.**

"And that's how you were conceived!"

Hiroki just stared. His mouth hanging open. Ino shook her cigarette in front of his nose, smiling widely.

"Like, I gave your mother condoms. She just forgot about them in the heat of the moment, I guess. And Sasuke. Well, you know your dad isn't the brightest lightbulb on the ceiling. He just assumed she was on the pill."

The fifteen-year old wasn't listening at that point. Just blindly staring at Ino's breasts without seeing them. Ino was a _MILF_ and he would admit that he usually jerked off at the thought of her. She was his mother's age but looked like a twenty-five year old. Silicon and Botox, Hiroki loved those concepts. When he could actually concentrate on Ino. Just that at this moment, he couldn't bring himself to focus on her.

His father … Mr. _United Nations_ … The guy that had the biggest pole up his ass had been a … Hiroki's stomach heaved. This was too disgusting to be true.

"Can you imagine that still today, your aunt Tenten maintains it was the dumbest idea ever. Like, if it hadn't been for me forcing Hinata to get that lap-dance, you wouldn't have been born. I'll have to take your sister to the _Chippendales_ when she turns twenty-one. She might meet the love of her life there. I am a genius, I tell you."

This was … Masako was not going to go to a strip-club. Ever. Not as a customer and certainly not as a worker. Over Hiroki's cold dead body. His sister would remain a baby all her life. And the idea of his sweet, bashful mother … His father was an asshole. Hiroki had known as much his whole life, just that he had expected there would be limits to how sleazy his old man could be.

Ino cheerfully smiled at the boy. He was such a cutie. Looked exactly like Sasuke. And where the hell was Hinata, she'd been in the kitchen for at least forty-five minutes. Ino needed a damn drink. That is the moment someone chose to unlock the front door. He was tired like shit, just came back from New York and only felt like crashing onto his living room couch. Maybe crap a little on his son, just for the form.

Sasuke led a tough life. So did Hinata. Just that he got more recognition. And that he could always count on her giving him a massage when he came back from a long trip. As he stepped into the living room the first thing that tipped him off was the stench. Smoke. Someone was smoking. Sasuke had stopped at the same time as he'd stopped with the … yeah, not going there. Ever again. The only person he knew that smoked was–

"Hey there, Sasu! It's been a while. I was just telling Hiroki about how you and Hina had kicked it off."

His jaw contracted instantaneously. He had a walking, talking plastic surgery seated on the very couch he wanted to crash on. Smoking right under his nose. A dinosaur seated on the ground in front of her. The dinosaur stood up and made his way towards Sasuke. It was as tall as a dinosaur and it ate like a dinosaur. Who would have ever believed it had been spawned by Hinata and himself?!

"Dude, lame."

Sasuke had to stand on tiptoes and reach up to smack Hiroki at the back of his head.

"Watch how you speak to your father. Go to your room. And take that _Che Guevara_ shirt off, it's an eyesore."

"Aww, Sasu. Don't be so hard on the kid. He's such a sweetie. I was just telling him about your days working at the _Bugs Bunny_."

Who the fuck had …? Hinata?! Hinata wouldn't have told Ino about it. It had been their fucking deal. Sasuke's pressure dropped …

"Naruto told me all about it!"

The fucking idiot.


End file.
